Reversal of Fortune

My little darling..

why is it that you're the one floating around in amniotic fluid,

but I'm the one who ends up being seasick?

I'm living the pepto bismol nightmare

Nausea Heartburn Indigestion Upset Stomach ( minus the diarrhoea )

The nausea is getting worse.. it used to be a couple of times a day and for short periods of time, but the past few days, it's been almost persistent throughout the day. The hubs will look over at me, and I'd be looking all pitiful. Then he'd ask me if I was feeling bad, and I'd tell him that I'd get hungry and then it'd get intense all of the sudden, and I'd get heartburn, and then I'd eat something and I'd get indigestion + heartburn, and mixed in with all this is the ever-present nausea in the background.

Not fun.

I had gotten some ginger candy at the Filipino Food Store, and we got some ginger snaps at Walmart a while ago. The ginger candy seems to help some, but I've yet to put the ginger snaps to the test....

But the hubs does all he can to help me out with everything around the house and makes sure I'm comfortable and get enough rest and everything. *sigh* My sweetness.

Turns out we have to redo week 8

We had our first prenatal visit today. We = the hubs and me. Oooooo and baby makes 3.. *grin* It was so reassuring to have the hubs there with me.

Okay, so I am allowed to get gorier (? more gory ) over here, what with this being the pregnancy blog and like that and not my regular blog ( the latest post about the dr's visit is HERE )

So we managed to come to an understanding with the doctor and her office manager about the price and a payment scheme thingy because I don't have insurance ( the doctor told us that 75% of health insurance in texas didn't cover maternity anyway - good grief . ) and the hubs and I were totally relieved it wasn't going to cost an arm and a leg and it was massively discounted. Phew.

Relief #2 came when the doctor did a transvaginal/internal ultrasound and saw that there was ONE baby, and it was in the uterus. She checked my ovaries, and I had a corpus luteum cyst in my left ovary, which was normal, and although it seemed pretty big to me, it was supporting our baby while the placenta was being formed, and THAT was what had been giving me some of the twinges, she said. PHEW! And then she measured my cervix and said it was of great length! LOL

The hubs came along, not really knowing what all the visit would entail, so although he was totally in awe when we saw the baby on the ultrasound, he was just absolutely blown away when we saw its little heart fluttering and the doctor zoned the doppler in to calculate the heart rate and what sounded like the sounds of horses galloping just filled the room.

So she calculated my dates based on this early scan and the CRL corresponded to a week behind what we had thought, so I have had to correct the little widget to the left to go back a week and I get to spend week 8 with my little blueberry all over again. :)

Side note: Smells of rotisserie chicken is quite Da Barf.

Another Restless Night

It's one of those nights again, when i go to bed relatively early, and then wake up in the middle of the night ( hubs is still messin' around with Photoshop in the living room ) and I just cannot get back to sleep. I'm not sure if it's because I'm too hot - I fling off the covers and then I get too cold, or if it's because my mind is suddenly in all directions at once, or maybe it's because I'm kinda freaked coz I found a couple of ants in my bed (ugh ) or because I'm smelling smells in my sleep. Also, I had that "sour stomach/acid reflux" feeling comin' on, so I chewed on a few almonds.

I walk out sleepily to the hubs, and he asks if it would help if he came to bed with me. That's sweet, but I really don't know. Just weird restlessness. Maybe I rested TOO much during the day.

Whatever it is, both the hubs and I have to get enough rest coz we have a big day ahead of us. Not only is it Letti Thursday - although we've decided that because of the "schedule", that we'd just go get some take out at the Walmart deli, but more importantly, WE will be having OUR first prenatal visit with the doctor today.

We called up the receptionist yesterday morning to ask what to expect at the first visit, and she was going down the list of things like Pap Smear ( TMI but so important ) etc etc.. but of course, all the hubs and I heard was "and a SONOGRAM".

I've been making him SO paranoid about ectopic pregnancies that he can't wait to make sure the baby is where it's supposed to be, all snuggly wuggly and that both momma and baby are safe.

*sigh* I just love my hubbiness to bits.

Blogging from Bed

I dunno about how it is for most other pregnant women, but I have good and bad hours in a day. For the last 2 days, the bad hours have been kinda on the bad side. I think it usually gets better towards the end of the day, but then again, it might not. Yeah, I'm talking about the dreaded nausea and bloatedness and "what have you"s of hormonal overload.

For the past 2 days, I've had to be in bed most of the day, but this morning was da pitz. Felt extremely nauseated a few hours after breakfast, and threw up a little once. Then made breakfast for the hubs and had some fruit and juice while he had his omelette and toast, but for some reason, at the end of the meal, the smell of the omelette was suddenly pretty horrific to me, and I had to run to the bathroom again. Gah.

And now I'm nauseated AND hungry AND full of bloatedness. Thank goodness the hubs is partially a "nuts" fiend, and so we have roasted unsalted almonds in the house - big tubs from Sam's - and for some reason, munching on them helps with the nausea ( and hunger, obviously ). Plus, they're good for you - full of protein and calcium and other good stuff which the little babyness needs right now.

The hubs had gotten me a laptop not too long ago, and he came in a little while ago to see how I was doing. I was propped up in bed with the laptop in front of me. He smiles and goes, "wow, who'd have known that it would be that pregnancy friendly as well!" :)

How do Bloodhounds stand it?!

I've talked about my super schnoz in a previous post, and I always hope things will get better, but they don't! The different smells that assault me first thing in the morning when I open the bedroom door into the rest of the house, seem to linger and follow me around!

EVERYTHING smells overwhelming. From the dogs to the cats to their food, to OUR food. I couldn't believe it when the hubs took me out for Chinese Food the other night and something I usually love actually was offputting!


I usually LOVE LOVE LOVE bean sprouts, and will get the "Mongolian Stir Fry" thingy area chef to do the dish for me, but this time, I felt just sick to my stomach when I caught a whiff of the cooked bean sprouts. I picked at it for a bit, and thought, "forget it.."


And the smells that are out of doors... BARF! It doesn't so much make me physically sick as sickens and annoys the heck outta me. Poor hubs tries to help with doing the cat litter more often, and covering the halfway-done cans of cat food with lids but even coffee smells yucky to me these days. I was even complaining to the hubs that I thought the sheets smelled, and he looked at me like "WHAT??". He suggested scented candles or the scented oil burners, but I HAVE tried those, and the smell, where pleasant before, are now just way too overwhelming! Masking bad smells with some other smell I can't stand at the moment is probably not the best approach...Gah. But I'm getting desperate.

I may have to find out if the smell of Vicks Vaporub is something I can stand, coz if it works, I may just have to live out the rest of the next 32 weeks with a permanent Vicks moustache.

8 Weeks

Can you believe it? Jnr. turned 8 weeks today and is still being compared to the size of food on the various websites.

Some are saying that this week, he/she will be the size of a raspberry and others say the size of a pinto bean.

He/She ( I can't wait for the day when I don't have to do THAT! ) is still growing like crazy, and the eyelids are forming, the heart valves and chambers are differentiating, the face is taking shape, and it has little webbed hands and feet that are getting unwebbed real soon...! And little elbows and knees...

Plus, at the end of this 8th week, you'll be promoted to fetus-dom!

The heartburn is a better today. I still woke up and had to eat crackers in bed this morning, and drank a cup of milk at bible class, but it was just kind of like a nagging ache in the background throughout the day, not the burning burning of yesterday.

Our first prenatal visit is less than 6 days away ( blogging after midnight .. heheh ). I'm pretty excited and at the same time, nervous. It's almost like the first thing I want to tell her is, cut to the chase and just ultrasound my belly already! I wanna see my baby!!

I already had some belly fat to begin with, so I think it's hard to see a pooch as yet ( also can't wait for when I can just let it all hang out and not have to "suck in" ) BUT my jeans have been getting tighter, and I've had to resort to my larger sized jeans - bleh, and probably soon I'll have to get drawstring or elastic band type pants. But then again I think, what's vanity compared to this little baby that's growing inside of you!?

I've been having some twinges on my right lower side, which started pretty early, like in my 6th week or something. Of course ectopic is something I constantly think about ( which is why I am soo looking forward to the sonogram ) , but this pain is more like a catch, and happens when I roll over in bed for some reason or stretch up hug the hubs, but not all the time, which leads me to think it's round ligament pain.

Meanwhile, according to the weekly emails alerts I get from these various baby websites, I'm supposed to have gone up a boob size or something. Or maybe I'm GOING TO, in the next month.

Well, thing is, I started wearing sports bras quite some time ago, because to me they were just way more comfortable and gave way much more support, so I haven't really noticed any humongous changes other than the constant tenderness.

I guess I have to dig out some of my old "conventional" bras to see if there's any difference.

Heart Burn from Heck

Since yesterday, I've been having this horrible horrible heartburn almost throughout the day. Taking Maalox or some crackers/milk, what have you has only been able to quell the symptoms for an hour at a time, at the most.

In anticipation of this, I put a box of crackers by the bed last night. Sure enough, I had to sit up in bed after waking up this morning and chew on a few crackers before the burning sensation went away. ( I bet this is the only time I can get away with eating crackers in bed ).

This is what BabyCenter.com has to say

"During pregnancy, the placenta produces the hormone progesterone, which relaxes the smooth muscles of the uterus. This hormone also relaxes the valve that separates the esophagus from the stomach, allowing gastric acids to seep back up, which causes that unpleasant burning sensation. GRRR..

Progesterone also slows down the wavelike contractions of your esophagus and intestines, making digestion sluggish. Later in pregnancy, your growing baby crowds your abdominal cavity, pushing the stomach acids back up into the esophagus."

and apparently it gets worse with time.

ARGHHH

I'm only 8 weeks ( tomorrow ) !! The hubs has a countdown going on the chalkboard in the kitchen ( eg: 8 weeks down, 32 weeks to go ). On the other hand, as someone who has always fretted about her thin, fine and limp hair, ( and bear with me on this ), apparently if you have major heartburn during pregnancy, your baby might just turn out to have hair of Captain Caveman proportions!.

Anyway, the hubs is getting me to try and eat some ice cream to help settle the stomach.

With my luck, I'll only get brain freeze.

Thumper's mother knows best.

And what she teaches Thumper is, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all".

Okay, I may not be the most sensitive person all the time as to how others are feeling, but I DO try. Anyway, this had been bugging me since last night and this being MY pregnancy blog, hey, where else can I vent but HERE?

So there's this guy that the family knows, who sits with us at dinner at our Tuesday family gatherings. He can be a real doofus at times, saying the most ridiculous things, but what he said yesterday really upset me. The hubs had gotten my drink for me, and I didn't realize that our drinks had gotten switched, and I was drinking the hubs' drink which had diet coke, and hence, caffeine. The doof hears us going "Uh oh", and tries to make a joke out of it, and says "Oh no, now your baby's going to have 2 heads", and chuckles.

I stare at him in disbelief, and count to ten silently. Seriously. This is MY baby you're talking about here. Just STFU! What a major eejit.

His wife glares at him and I bet you she would have smacked him or SOMETHING if we hadn't been out in a public place.

Food Biorhythm

Okay.. so I THINK I have it figured out. I try to eat something immediately after I wake up ( along with the obligatory first 1/2 of the prenatal Vit ) coz while I can stomach that, it's not too long after that I start feeling like I have the stomach flu.

At dinner time, though, I would be having massive hunger pangs amidst the incessant background queasiness, and will make myself have some dinner along with the other 1/2 of the prenatal vits, and for some miraculous reason, the food stays down!

Today we were at Rosa's for Taco Tuesday with the family. There was a big bruhaha about how I was feeling etc. More people were there than usual, and it was weird to have people asking me about me.

There was a highlight to the day tho.. when the hubs' niece talked to her doctor about our situation and the dr. said that she would have me as a patient, insurance and SSN issues and all! *fingers crossed* We'll have to call back the office tomorrow to talk to them about it.

I spoke to my sister about the little floaty baby on the sidebar and she said that at this point in time, it had our family's WEAK CHIN ! lol

Cranky Tummy

Today, my tummy's been feeling seriously more cranky than usual. I had a little something to eat when I first woke up pretty early, and had 1/2 of a prenatal vitamin coz taking an entire one at a time usually makes me queasy. That went well.

Then the hubs woke up several hours after that, and I made him breakfast ( no prob with the smells ) and sat down with him, and had a small bowl of cereal.

THAT'S when it all started. Right after the cereal. I was getting green at the gills, and getting worse by the minute, and had to interrupt the hubs in mid sentence to run to the bathroom to retch. And there went the cereal.

Great. Now not only was I feeling queasy, my tummy hurt from retching.

I went and lay down for a bit till I felt a little better and had to get up coz by then, hunger pangs had joined in the repertoire of tummy sensations, and I seriously needed something to make it stop hurting. The only thing I had any "desire" for were wieners and so I boiled some and cut them up into little bits and ate em. Everything seemed fine for 5 whole minutes. Then I had to run to the bathroom again, and threw up like half of the weiners I ate.

I didn't know if my tummy was queasy, or painful, or hungry or WHAT it was, or if it was indigestion. Or ALL of the above. All I knew was, it was NOT fun.

We've just finished dinner, and even though my stomach was hurting ( as I said, I'm not sure WHAT it was ), I figured eating SOMETHING would help.

It did. It's been about 20 minutes since I had some salad, a piece of chicken wing, and a couple of pieces of bread. AND half of a prenatal vitamin. So far so good. My stomach actually feels a little better and doesn't hurt as much, and I'm sipping some juice and trying not to let this yuckiness I'm feeling ( albeit less now ) consume me.

Junior is 7 weeks and 3 days today. I hope she/he doesn't hold all this whining against me.

My Comfy Jeans

I kept telling myself it was because the jeans had just been washed and you know how jeans are, that have just come out of the dryer.. they need some "breaking in".

So stubbornly, I wore my by now just a little bit tight pair of jeans to church and man, was I wishing I had on my comfortable drawstring jammies on. I hope that it's just coz my uterus is now going to be the size of a grapefruit by the end of the 7th week, ( from having been the size of a fist for 37 years ) and not because I'm "merely" getting FATTER!

But I am excited at knowing that Jnr. should be developing at a superhuman rates, and he/she already has little recognizable toes and fingers and has knees and elbows! And with a heart that's beating and a brain that's developing...

That sure makes me feel silly about all this fat talk. Bleh.

7 weeks

Junior turned 7 weeks yesterday.

And is now approximately the size of a BlueBerry and approximately 10,000 times bigger than at conception

We told the rest of the family at dinner on Thursday about the pregnancy. I was nervous...But once the ball got rolling, we just had to tell everyone. From the hubs' side of the family to my side of the family, and then one of his nieces does this "Our family update" email and suddenly our news is being disseminated at the speed of the net!

It's weird. I have been feeling queasy on and off, not consistently. Sometimes when i'm hungry, or after I've had a bite of food, or after I've had my prenatal vitamins. And sometimes after smelling something icky. But never lasting v. long.

Now for a horrible testament to my cooking. Last night I had made dinner and we were watching the Olympics and at the crucial moment right before Michael Phelps was going to compete, the electricity died. We were going "grrr" but hung around for a bit, doing stuff outside while there was still some light to see by, and came back into the house after dark. The electricity was still off so I couldn't heat up the food. I took one bite of the coldish food and my stomach kinda twisted into a knot.

Long story short, we ended up at Chili's, about 7 mins away, where we watched the rest of the olympics, and lo and behold, I had no problem scarfing down all that deep fried, greasy fatty food. How terrible. Sorry, Junior. I promise to do better.

Involuntary body changes

Nowadays, when i happen to pass gas ( i'll call it TOOT from now on), the hubs will give me a look and i'll go, "blame it on the pregnancy", and he'll roll his eyes.

Or I would forget something really obvious or say something silly, like last night I was making chicken burgers for dinner, and trying to tell him that it was breast meat patty and not like ground up chicken lips and feet, and I turn to him and say, "Well, it's made up of chicken breast milk". He does a double take, like, "EH!?" and I finally realise what I said, and go "It's all these pregnancy hormones, I tell you!" And he's like, "Uh huh, blame your feather brainedness on the poor baby". Hehehe

AND I've started BURPING like crazy since a couple of days ago. Bah. What's up with that?!

Happy Scream

So Cindy came home to Abilene today and we told her the news, and it kinda went something like this...

The Hubs : Okay, Letti has something to tell you, but you have to promise not to scream
Cindy : Okay
Letti : Do you think I've put on any weight since you left for Africa?
Cindy : ( turns around to take another look at me ) No!
Letti : Well, it's not gonna last too long tho, coz I'll be 7 weeks come Friday

*split second pause*

Cindy: SSCCRRRRRREEEEEAAAAMMMMMM!!!



She proceeds to half scream half laugh and can't stop grinning and hugging us :)

It really was quite a Kodak moment.

I see Pregnant People

I've got baby on the brain, for sure. Everywhere I go, I see baby bumps. Be it Walmart, Lowe's, at Rosa's for Taco Tuesday, in magazines, in movies, etc.

SO, it wasn't surprising that while I was channel surfing today, I came across "Tori and Dean", and they were doing some all day marathon thing leading up to tonight's season finale.

ANYWAY, I had heard of the series forever, but had never even seen it once, but then I found myself mesmerised ( I'm a sucker for "certain" reality type series - hey, what's the plural for series? serii? ) by the whole thing - maybe coz i was like, "OMG Tori Spelling looks like a female version of her dad" or "Hey, this Dean McDermott guy is pretty cute/hot and he is so adorable with his little baby boy", or maybe it was because of the fact that SHE WAS PREGNANT!

So I was pretty much glued to the tube, watching the lives of Tori & Dean today leading up to the season finale ( I know, I should deal with my OWN life, instead of eaves-watching (??) someone else's..BUT that was the episode where she has her baby girl...... :) Like, AWWWW or WHAT?!

I tend to get obsessive compulsive at times

and this time it's no exception. Because of age issues, and this being a first pregnancy, and both the hubs and me being paranoid about a bunch of stuff, I can't help checking the TP after wiping each time I go pee.

There was a lady on one of the baby forums who dared the women not to look after wiping, and people were going, "nah, i fail", "no way", "i would not last 10 mins" and i think i'm the same way.

AND, Cindy is finally home from Africa, and we're gonna tell her the news if/when she drops by our place on her drive home from Dallas. And THEN, we tell the rest of the family. I think. Somehow the prospect of telling everyone and them finally knowing makes me kinda nervous.

Distorted Body Image as it Is

I know it is part and parcel of being pregnant, but I can't help but be horrified at the prospect of gaining 25 - 35 pounds in the next 8 months or so. I've never had a great self image, and have been bulimic in the past, on and off, and am one of those women who think "If i just lose 10 or 15 pounds, i know my life would be perfect."

In my random readings about pregnancy and like that, I DID read that a large percentage of bulimics handle pregnancy really well and generally don't have much throwing up etc going on while pregnant. I hope I can handle this part of it. Being someone who was called "Fatty" as a kid, and "Big Sized" as an adult , or the coy but not any less stingy "Wow, you certainly look HEALTHY" doesn't help.

Dang.

I should stop passing on these negative vibes to the baby...Happy thoughts.. happy thoughts...

Low Sugar Sickness?

I don't think I've started getting much "morning" sickness per se ( besides, it's all-day-long sickness ), but yesterday and today, I've been feeling kinda queasy around meal times/ cooking times. Today, I felt so nauseated right before dinner, I thought I would not be able to eat anything. BUT, I made myself eat something, and felt much better after taking a few bites. But then AFTER dinner, I started feeling queasy again. Bah.

It really sucked to feel queasy. And I believe this is only the beginning.

It's mind boggling, but I'm actually halfway towards the end of the first Trimester! How surreal is that?!

We told my mom & father yesterday. My mom's reaction? She screamed "HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD!!" at the top of her lungs :)

Spilling the Beans

We're gonna call up my mom tonight to tell her the news. ( And get her to keep it to herself - and my dad, of course till we tell the rest of the world, which probably will be end of next week or thereabouts ).

I have been having some nausea on and off - like right before lunch today ( mexican food place ) and right after I had finished making dinner. All of the sudden, I had this wave of UGHness, but no throwing up, thank God.

We tried to call my mom earlier in the evening, but coz it was already about 8:15 am over there, they were probably already at church coz no one answered the phone. So we have to wait till they get home, which will probably be after midnight our time - OR I could wait till in the morning before WE leave for church. I just want my mommy to know.

There hasn't really been like serious nausea, or any hard core symptoms, that I had a moment of "what if i'm NOT pregnant, but merely going through early menopause" etc etc kind of thoughts. I know that's silly, but I just HAD to go pee on another stick to make it all real again.

This time, there was a line that even the HUBS could appreciate. LOL

6 weeks

6 Weeks Pregnant

Major milesone....Junior is 6 weeks today. In conjunction with the Olympics Opening Ceremony. *grin* On 8.8.08, no less. Very prosperous :)

Hubs and I went to Salvation Army today and I got like just about every pregnancy book they had there - titles like "What to expect when you're expecting", "what to expect in the first year", "Pregnancy Week by Week" - I mean, HUGE titles and authors that everyone recommends. And each paperback, no matter how thick, was 64 cents.

SIXTY FOUR CENTS!! For something that would cost like 20 bucks or more brand new. Granted, they're not the LATEST editions, but with the internet these days, does it even matter that much?

Anyway, I don't think I've got many full blown symptoms as yet, but i get a spot of nausea now and again.



From Baby 3D

Your Baby

This week starts a period of rapid cellular development for your baby-to-be, who looks like a mini tadpole, with a tiny head and tail. His or her eyes, ears and mouth have begun to form (though they're a little more Discovery Channel "creatures of the sea" documentary than Gerber Baby at this point).

Other exciting milestones include:

Your baby's heart is now beating to a regular beat, although it's still too faint to hear.

His or her arm buds are just beginning to, well, bud. They look like teensy swollen bumps at this point. In a few days, they'll resemble itsy-bitsy flippers.

Your baby has grown to ⅛ inch long—about the size of one of the chocolate sprinkles on your last cupcake (and your last ice cream cone, and your last sundae and your last giant cookie ... maybe there is something to those rumors about pregnancy cravings!).

I have a doctor now?

It's a long story, but after getting Hubs to be on the phone with the receptionist from the OBGYN office regarding some, er, issues, we finally have a booking visit for the end of August. But even that was so stressful due to the "issues", I started crying all over the place again.

Plus I'm like, I'll be freakin' 9 weeks by then! My mind was reeling from too many what ifs, but at least we got the ball rolling. We've also hopefully got some solution on the insurance front.

Today was dinner with the boys - FIL & BIL and Hubs. After dinner, and da boyz were hanging out in the garage, FIL smiles and whispers conspiratorially, "How are you feeling?" It felt sooo good to have someone else in on the whole thing that it seriously made me wanna hug the heck outta my FIL. Then he tells me he is praying for me, and that makes my spirit just wanna take off, and start bawling at the same time. *smiles*

But it doesn't take long before I start worrying again, about every little thing. Being pregnant turns you into a paranoid worry wort. Seriously. One moment I'm worried about having cramps, the next I'm worried that I'm NOT having cramps. This morning, I woke up and wondered WHY my BBs weren't sore anymore, and that scared the **** outta me. Later that morning, the familiar achy - ness came back to them, and I never thought I would be THAT relieved to have aching BBs. Then I read all this stuff about ectopic pregnancy occuring more often in older mothers ( i'm up there late with this baby business ), and I totally freak out, and become obsessive about checking the TP each time I go to the bathroom ( which is more and more often now, I think ) to see if I'm suddenly bleeding.

Arghh. No one said being a parent to even an embryo was easy.

*mental note to self - CALM THE F*** DOWN AND ENJOY YOUR PREGNANCY!*

Like as if I'm not enough of a CryBaby

Today we thought we were going to call Steph's doctor to make an appointment. Uh hu.

First off, we found the form that we were supposed to fill up to get me on Lubby Hubby's insurance. So we look through it and find out the reason why we didn't send it in to begin with. I need some sort of ID. So then we call the immigration lawyer's office. And the guy in charge of our case is NOT in, naturally. AND he doesn't call us back.

So I start bawling all over again. I vaguely remember why I started crying - it was like a kind of helpless feeling mixed together with panic over money etc, but really, I can cry at the drop of a hat these days. And it freaks the hubby out, and he gets this frantic look on his face.

Good Grief.

Meanwhile, in the middle of all this turmoil, (and i'm sure this happens to the Hubs) - I'm wondering what Halloween costumes will make the kid look seriously beyond cute. And the kid is still this tadpole looking thing, the size of a grain of rice, at 5+ weeks!

5 Weeks Pregnant

It'll be time for a new 3D pic in a couple of days, though. *silent scream*

Bawl Fest

I think today was the first time I've had such a major bawl fest since we found out I was pregnant. It had to do with when we should let people know about the pregnancy.

From the start, lubby hubby had wanted the whole thing to be hush hush because he didn't want me to get too devastated if it didn't happen, and we'd have to tell everyone that we'd informed, the bad news.

Anway, so I was in the mode of "Okay, so we'll tell when YOU say we're ready". So when Lubby Hubby asked me about when people tell others, I told him that I had read that it was up to the individual and some people told early, others waited till after the first trimester etc. Then he asked, "so what was the concensus"? And i answered, like i said, diff. people tell at diff times, I can't give you a concensus. Then he got irritated, and I got all emotional and started bawling.

Long story short, we'll try to get an appointment with Steph's OBGYN and then tell people after the first appointment, when everything would seem more confirmed and "official".

Twinges and Odd sensations

When I told Lubby Hubby yesterday, that I felt pukey, he was like, ''Are you sure it isn't psychological?"

I wanted to smack him and tell him the pain he felt was psychological.

Bleh.

Also, I've developed this heightened sense of every twinge, itch, pull, flutter, whatEVAH, that's going on in the tummy and er, lower, regions.

I've gotten the cramps again on and off yesterday and today, but just about everything I've been reading tells me that it is either implantation or your uterus getting signals from the hormones that it's gonna have to start getting its act together to start expanding.

Mowed part of the lawn. Didn't really "exert" myself. I figured I could do some weeding and mowing - just a little bit - every day. Besides, the window when it isn't sickeningly hot outside is so small.

I just thought of something. Since I'm like an incubator for this little one, and there will be all that extra blood flow and heat generated during pregnancies, maybe I won't feel so cold this winter :)

But then again, it could just be gas.

Daddy

Every day that my period is late, lubby hubby seems to come more and more to terms with the fact that I could possibly be pregnant. *grin* He's even forbidding me to do the cat litter in the plant / cat room or carry heavy stuff.

Then he turns fickle and says things like, "don't put the cart before the horse", or "You only THINK you feel pukey"

LOL. Whatever it is, he's in it for the long haul, my darling lubby hubby :)

And I guess the biggest news of the day is that we told HIS dad. But of course, he was sworn to utter and complete secrecy. :P

Paranoia

I guess I didn't wake up as early as previous days, but then again, I woke up in the middle of the night for over an hour before I went back to bed again. Anyway, today we went to get some crape myrtle cuttings for the city, and then off to Golden Corral for brunch.

Surprisingly enough, I didn't get sick or nauseated there, even though there were like a gazillion smells. Maybe I was just famished or something. Or maybe I'm just a pig.

Then we went off to Lowe's to check something out and ended up buying loads of Lawn Accessories/Decoration on mega sale.

After we had been home for a while, I suddenly realised I didn't have cramps anymore. Nor did I feel nauseated any more. I DID, however, feel weepy and emotional ( not UNprovoked, mind you ) during the drive out from our place, but it almost feels like any other day, other than the sore BBs.

Paranoia sets in. *sigh*

Gag me with a spoon

Okay. Since yesterday, I've been getting really sensitive to smells that haven't really bothered me that badly in the past. Yesterday, there was a power outage because of a storm, and so the air in the house was kinda stagnant, and when you have dogs and cats and litter boxes and semi open cans of wet animal food out, it can get pretty icky pretty fast.

I'm usually more hardy than that, but I just got so nauseated, I had to get out into the yard. Luckily it had rained, and amazingly enough, there was plenty of cloud cover and the temperature was barely even 70F!

Then, this morning - I can't even remember what started it, but I started to gag and had a retching thing in the bathroom. Ugh.

Sleepiness vs sleeplessness?

Man, these hormones are driving my body crazy. I wake up at like 6.45 am., which I never used to unless it was when I was working or a student, and then get super sleepy at around 11 am, and so I take a nap. THEN, I get sleepy at about 11 pm, and go to bed, and spend the rest of the night either waking up, thinking about stuff and making myself NOT able to sleep, or having to pee. ( Lubby hubby goes, "are you sure that symptom starts so early?" Grrrr.

Anyway, it's 3 am and I've been awake for an hour, all hot and my mind going in several different directions, so I thought browse the net a bit and go back to bed when I feel sleepy enuff.

THEN, I get a snack attack, and have to eat something. Good Grief.

Anyway, here's what I found online.....

First Trimester (Months 1-3)

Overall, women have lower quality of sleep during the last trimester of pregnancy. High levels of progesterone are produced, increasing feelings of sleepiness. Also, the enlarged uterus can press up against the diaphragm, making it more difficult to breathe. The number of times a woman wakes up during the night to urinate increases as well. Disturbed sleep patterns may begin. Interrupted sleep can cause daytime sleepiness. Women tend to sleep more during this time than before they were pregnant, or later in pregnancy.

Sleeplessness

Sleeping difficulties are common during pregnancy and lead to fatigue during the day. In early pregnancy low blood sugar levels as a results from hunger and nausea may cause insomnia. As pregnancy progresses many women are unable to relax fully in bed due to general discomfort, leg cramps, or worry about the baby. Symptoms include difficulty in falling asleep, restless unrefreshed sleep with periods of awakeness and fatigue and irritability during day

Increased Heart Rate
Because your body is pumping more blood to your uterus, your heart rate will increase and make you feel more alert and less sleepy.

Early Insomnia

Insomnia during the first trimester of pregnancy is usually quite common and is usually as a result of the hormonal changes. One of the main causes of insomnia is a result of the progesterone which is released. Progesterone is a natural sedative, which leads to women feeling tired and often fall asleep at hours which are not in their normal sleeping cycle, which leaves them wide awake when they are supposed to be sleeping. This also explains why fatigue is one of the common pregnancy symptoms.

Of course there may be other factors as well, such as stress, being worried about both yours and your baby's health, financial worries and for most, the fear of miscarriage

Confirmation?

One would think I was obsessed with pregnancy tests, and that that'll be all the pictures that there will be on this blog. But I can't help it!!!!

We got a couple of "Answer" Preggo test sticks from Walmart yesterday, and so I tried one today with FMU ( TMI maybe, but what the hey ), and there were 2 lines. Not just 1. Lubby Hubby is still saying "why is it not like a flaming bright line?". I'm like, the lines are different for everyone.. like people are different. Besides, I'm like hardly producing any hormones yet. And he's like "well, what if it's a false positive". And I'm like, if it's a false positive, I'd be very very afraid coz hcg is a tumour marker! But I think he's finally accepting that I probably AM pregnant, but not wanting ME to be too anxious or excited yet, and so we've agreed not to let anyone in on the big "secret" as yet.

I think he's warming up to the idea tho. But it may take till next week before I can convince him to take me to the doctor.

FYI I'm currently at 5 weeks.

How mind blowing is that!?:!???!?!?!